Web chokeartist.blogspot.com

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

 

SITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

That's what you write when your website is messed up right? Anyway, I have zero time right now so posting has been suspended temporarily while I find some other contributors. Right now my work schedule and a test I am studying for leave me with little time to stay up to date on things. Hopefully things will be back to normal soon.

-Choke Artist

Friday, November 17, 2006

 

NFL PICKS

It is official, JNR is the authority on NFL picks, so either stick with his picks or pick the opposite of us other two losers.

Choke Artist (8-16-1)...I swear I had a winning record before this competition started
Colts -1 Cowboys
Bengals +3 Saints
Pats -6 Packers
Lions +2 Cards
Seahawks -3.5 49ers

JNR (14-10-1)
Chi -7.0 NYJ
Mia -3.0 Min
Det +2.0 Ari
Ind -1.0 Dal
SD +2.5 Den

TB (9-16)
Colts -1 cowboys
Steelers -3 browns
Titans +13 Eagles
Bears +7 Jets
G-Men -3.5 Jags

SUICIDE POOL
CHIEFS OVER RAIDERS...yes I'm scared. 6 people left fighting for $6,000.

FOR DOUGH
JNR (-$20) takes Miami and gives Choke Artist (+$20) 3 points with the Vikes

Thursday, November 16, 2006

 

TRU WARIER

In honor of Ron Artest being on my fantasy basketball team, I named my team Tru Warier's. Tru Warier is Artest's nickname for himself...or hhis hip-hop name or something along those lines. I heard that his record sold one copy during its first week although I don't know if it's true.

Anyway, the website, TruWarier.com is great and has terrific features like Ron-Ron in a turtleneck, which sadly is a wallpaper. My favorite was when I went to the charity section and clicked on pictures. There is only one picture and it is Artest in a Pacers jersey in front of a video camera. Keep doin it for the kids Ron.

 

Oral Sensations!

Oral Roberts shocked #3 Kansas last night in an tourney-type upset. Bill Self really must regret being embarassed by a mid-major which he used to coach at. The Oral's lost their first game of the season- to Loyola-Marymount. Since this isn't 1996 anymore, this looks really bad for Kansas, the second top team to be upset this week (BC lost to Vermont on Monday). Kansas was bounced from last year's tournament by Bradley. And the rise of the mid-majors continues. Someone who knows nothing about basketball will win your NCAA pool again this year.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

 

F U, I'm Leon Waashington!


Leon Washington is giving the finger on his football card. I want it.

I just became like a proud father because he's on my fantasy team.

If this is any "Sign of the Future", I predict that someone is going to get F*cked.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2662669


Tuesday, November 14, 2006

 

HIT-NA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUibVcm-GGE

Monday, November 13, 2006

 

A Rutgers-ology

From Football Pool Doormat TB:

On November 9, 2006, something occurred in the sports world that once again proved why sports are better than movies. You just can't make some of these things up. Rutgers University pulled off one of the biggest upsets of all time as they came back to knock Louisville out of the National Championship picture. Let me explain before you start yelling out the USA over Russia in hockey in 1980 that prompted the movie miracle, Chaminade over Virginia in 1982, Villanova over Georgetown in 1985, or whatever else you have on your mind. This game ranks right up there with any of them. Look at the bigger picture and hopefully you'll understand a bit more.

Now to the naked eye, #15 in the country defeating #3 in the country doesn't seem like a big upset at all. I mean, after all #15 was playing in their own stadium. And after all, Auburn, Cal, and Texas got their hopes dashed by unranked teams. But to understand the significance of this victory, one must look into the history of Rutgers University football. After playing in the first College Football game ever, the football program at Rutgers University was the punch line of any joke involving football in the state of New Jersey for approximately...ever. They were downright pathetic. This team became synonymous with losing. Forget the fact that before last year they hadn't made a bowl since 1976 (which was the Garden State Bowl, essentially tailored to have the host school play in it). I could go on for hours discussing the sad past of Rutgers football, but instead I'll jump to 2001.

If you know anything about college football, you know that the current laughingstock of DI football is Temple University who just broke some losing streak that went back to the Clinton administration or something. Did you also know that in 2001, this same Temple University defeated Rutgers University 30-5? Yes thats right, Rutgers scored 5 points against Temple, and I believe it was Geoff Billet scoring all 5 points on 2 jump shots. Rutgers also lost 61-0 to Miami that year, and 80-7 to West Virginia. I wonder how they got the 7? The next year they started off their season by losing 37-19 to D1AA Villanova! And the game wasn't even close.

Lets just travel back to last year, where Rutgers lost 56-5 to the same Lousiville team that they defeated last Thursday. Take it from a lifelong Rutgers fan, there was not a moment during their 2nd half comeback that I thought they would actually win. When Jeremy "the Judge" Ito missed the 33 yard field goal at the end of the game, I wasn't surprised at all. Misery was what I came to expect with Rutgers football. I believe the phrase "snatching defeat from the jaws of victory" was probably uttered for the first time by someone watching a Rutgers game. Then it happened. Offsides, on Louisville, second chance at the kick, boom, 137 years ofsuffering right down the drain.

Once you look into the past of this program, you begin to understand why I chose to rank this as one of the biggest upsets in sports history...okay maybe I got a little carried away by comparing it to some other great upsets but if you're from New Jersey you understand the disbelief that is still running through my mind, even on Monday morning. Words cannot describe it.

Now this morning, I go on SI.com (praying to God I wouldn't see a Bears over Giants headline- God failed to answer my prayers), and I see a poll on the website entitled "Which one loss team has the best shot at making the BCS title game?" It then lists 8 one loss teams with opportuinites to vote. After checking once or twice through, I noticed they did not include Rutgers in this poll AT ALL (but they included Wake Forest who is ranked about 17th and who plays in the oh so competetive ACC...yes that is sarcasm). This same belief was shared by my buddy Lee Corso, who was so strongly against Rutgers playing in the National Championship game,I would have thought he was a derranged Louisville fan. Oh what is that you say? Corso coached Lousiville from 1969 to 1972? Shocker!

Look I'm not calling for Rutgers to play in the national championship game or trying to say they are better than Ohio State, Michigan, Florida, USC, etc. Hell, I'm not even convinced they will beat West Virginia later in the season (typical thought process of a Rutgers fan). All I'm saying is give the Scarlet Knights some credit for what they have done. When is the last time #6 in the BCS standings was given such little respect? Run it over in your mind before you hate on Rutgers. It's time to given the State University of New Jersey the props it rightfully deserves. That's all, just had to vent a little bit. By the way, if R U goes undefeated and Ohio State doesn't play in the Nat'l Championship, Ray Rice may be the most deserving Heisman candidate.

Note from the Choke Artist:

If the following unlikely circumstances occur, Rutgers REALISTICALLY has a chance to play for the title:

1. Cal Beats USC
2. USC Beats Notre Dame
3. RU Beats WVU
4. Florida loses the SEC Championship game or @ FSU
5. Michigan/Ohio State gets blown out or finishes w/2 losses.

That's it, 5 things and Rutgers is in! Almost as improbable as a 9-0 start....

Friday, November 10, 2006

 

NFL Midseason Awards

Contributed From the "Spotlight" Section of Pharfle. Their homepage is http://www.pharfle.blogspot.com/

NFL MID SEASON AWARDS

Best AFC team: Colts (8-0)... hands down. Proved it against the Patriots IN Foxboro. Will they go undefeated? NO... will they get homefield advantage? YES... will it matter? We will see.

Best NFC team: The winner of the Giants (6-2) v. Bears (7-1) Sunday night game can claim this title. This is a huge game as it will play the tie breaker down the road for playoff seeding.

NFL MVP: The NFL is becoming like the NBA or MLB when you could have given the award to Shaq or Bonds EVERY YEAR during like a 5-6 year stretch... but you didn't because greatness and domination became somewhat expected... so I am assuming that you know I am going to elect Peyton Manning (QB Colts) as Pharfle's mid-season MVP. Peyton has thrown for 2291yds, 17TD's and only 3 picks with a QB rating of over 106.... oh and his team is THE BEST TEAM IN THE NFL....

Honorable-mention MVP for Fantasy STUDS Ladaian Tomlinson, and Drew Brees

COMEBACK PLAYER OF THE YEAR AFC: The league's leading receiver resides in Houston. The Texans' Andre Johnson went from below average #1 receiver to the top of the league (more yards than Chad Johnson, Steve Smith, Terrell Owens, Randy Moss, and Larry Fitzgerald). Johnson has 754 yds, 4 TD's and 35 1st downs!!

COMEBACK PLAYER OF THE YEAR NFC: QB Drew Brees of the New Orleans Saints. A mediocre team on paper is making a strong case for the playoffs based on the arm of their QB. He seems completely recovered from his injury and was probably drafted too low in everyone's fantasy leagues. Idiots.

AFC DUD: The Miami Dolphins have to be vomiting over the fact that they passed up on Drew Brees for Daunte Culpepper. Although his stats aren't atrocious, he has not shown the mobility and arm strength they got him to showcase. His offensive lines ALWAYS collapses and he has not proven to be a good decision maker under pressure. It is clear that he has not healed completely and has been benched for Joey Harrington (probably) until next season. Dolphins over-hyped again.... Ya think they miss Ricky Williams?

NFC DUD: Chris Simms... Maybe it is in bad taste to give this "honor" to a man with a spleen injury, but Tampa Fans NEVER thought they would be riding the Bruce Gradkowski train. I mean... did you know who he was until last month? The Bucs playoff hopes are almost dead.

NFL ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: This one isn't even close! On a team that drafted a future All-Pro in Reggie Bush, the Saints Marques Colston is turning cornerbacks heads right and left. He has amassed an impressive 700yds and 7TD's. He was picked at the tail end of the draft and has paid IMMEDIATE dividends. Kudos to the New Orleans Scout squad.

SUPER BOWL PREDICITON: Manning v. Manning.... wouldn't TV LOVE that?


Pharfle ALL FANTASY TEAM
QB: Peyton Manning (IND)
RB: Ladanian Tomlinson (SD)
RB: Larry Johnson (KC)
RB: Stephen Jackson (STL)
WR: Marques Colston (NO)
WR: Torry Holt (STL)
TE: Alge Crumpler (ATL)
K: Rob Gould (CHI)
DEF: BALTIMORE

If I may add myself some other guys who you may not have expected to tear up the fantasy leagues this year:

QB: M. Vick (3rd among QB's), J. Kitna
RB: K. Jones, W. Parker (5th, 6th among RB's)
WR: Javon Walker (#1), Reggie Brown
TE: D. Clark, K. Winslow
DEF: San Diego

Biggest busts must be Cadillac WIlliams and LaMont Jordan

 

Freudian Slip?

An actual headline from MSNBC.com, and how it should be after this week. After all, just because a team has exceeded original expectations doesn't mean they should be punished at this point in the season.

• No. 3 Rutgers Stuns No. 15 Louisville

 

R Who? That's Right.

That's right, Rutgers beat the beast of the Big East last night and is still undefeated. After a thrilling comeback, R U should move up to about #8 in the BCS. Only problem is it would take A LOT of help for them to have any chance of getting consideration for a National Championship. Now this wouldn't be quite as much of a disappointment as Auburn missing out a couple years ago, but this could be another case for the BCS system to be abolished.

Think about what a great cinderella story it would be for Rutgers to get a crack at the title against the likes of Ohio State. Under this system, it won't happen. If the tourney system works for college basketball, why not an 8-team tournament for football? 7 bowl games in the tournament, and then keep the additional bowl games for the other teams. This would allow a chance for all undefeated teams, regardless of the conference. Florida looked terrible against Vanderbilt last week and has one loss, but this system keeps them ahead of the team who just took out # 3 in the country.


Is Rutgers better than Ohio State? Probably not, but we'll never know.

Mark your calendars for December 2. Rutgers vs. West Virginia.

 

Football Picks

After a collective suck last week, we'll all try and get back on track.

TB (7-13) - Hope you're not betting these games for real
KC-1 Mia
Dal -7 Ari
Den -9 Oak
Ten +7.5 Bal
Sea -3 Stl

Choke Artist (7-12-1)- Obviously unqualified to run this site
KC -1 Mia
Cle +8 Atl
NO +4 Pitt
Min -5.5 GB
Det -6 SF


JNR (10-9-1) - At least someone has a winning record
NYJ +10.5 NE
Dal -7.0 Ari
Oak +9.0 Den
SD -1.5 Cin
KC -1.0 Mia

For $
Choke Artist takes Rams and 3 points to beat JNR's Seahawks in Seattle

Suicide Pool
Monday Night, Panthers over Bucs

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

 

When You're Rich, It Doesn't Matter if You're a Hick


Jeff Gordon married this Belgian model the other day. This from MSNBC.com:

"Vandebosch, who began modeling at age 12, according to an online biography, has also dated former Baltimore Orioles star Brady Anderson".

Maybe she stopped dating him when his balls shrunk to the size of peas after his 50 homerun season.

 

JUST BALLIN!

The Giants will need to be ballin pretty hard to beat Da Bears on Sunday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXc2CU7isUw

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

 

Florida vs. Georgia

Great clip from the ladies room, thanks Chrissy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8X0xtKKQJi0

Monday, November 06, 2006

 

What's Golden?

A Guest Post by JNR (sorry, the stats don't line up correctly in this format)

Top SS fielding stats

3. O Cabrera Games Innings TC PO A Errors DP FPCT
LAA SS 152 1320.2 645 252 377 16 100 975%

2. D Jeter
NYY SS 150 1292.1 610 214 381 15 81 975%

1. M Young
TEX SS 155 1356.1 747 241 492 14 113 .981%


So the Choke Artist asked me to defend Jeter’s accomplishment of winning the gold glove. Jeter is obviously one of the better shortstops in the AL, so the Gold Glove is by no means a sham. The stats, however, point to Texas shortstop Michael Young. So here is a breakdown of the oft-ignored fielding statistics.

TC (total chances) is a controversial stat. This stat has a direct impact on the other stats. For example, the more TC’s you get, the more A’s (assists) you should have. So you can turn this into a positive stat for Jeter by projecting he would have all higher numbers and be closer to Young’s PO’s (put-outs) and A’s. Here’s the problem- Jeter has more errors and a lower FPCT(fielding percentage) already. So by adding over 100 TC’s to Jeter, his errors would most likely go up and his FPCT would likely stay the same or at least remain close.

With Young having so many more TC’s, his stats should be lower in FPCT and go up in errors. This did not happen. Instead Young has a better FCPT and less errors, so he could be considered more consistent.

As a Yankee fan I would love to give thousands of valid reasons for Jeter’s third straight gold glove. Well here are two.

1. Jeter is a Yankee and Young is a Ranger.
2. Jeter is the defending gold glove winner.

As the defending gold glove winner you have to be “dethroned” because you are fresh in the minds of the voters. Are Young’s stats so overwhelming that he should have won over the defending gold glove SS? It’s a tough question because fielding stats do not often separate themselves dramatically.

The voters for the gold gloves are managers and coaches. Do they look at stats before they vote? Or is the Gold Glove more of an arbitrary decision?

In my honest opinion, its not that Jeter didn’t deserve it, but Young deserved it more.

Sorry, but I can't provide a justified defense of Jeter's defense.



Friday, November 03, 2006

 

Football Week 9

JNR tries to extend his lead after a 5-0 record last week.

TB
Green Bay -3 Buffalo
New Orleans +1 Tampa Bay
Atl +5.5 Detroit
Minnestoa +5 49ers
Giants +13 Texans

JNR

NO -1.0 TB
GB +3.0 Buf
ATL -5.5 Det
Min -5.5 SF
NYG -13.0 Hou

Shartist
When in Romo +3 Brunell's Grandkids
Fudge Packers -3 The Loss-men
Fred Smoot's Army of Whores +5 Alex Smith's Army of Mormons
Drew Brees's Shit Stain +1 Suckaneers and Simms's spleen
The Michael Vick Show +5.5 Kitna & Co.

For $$$$, Choke Artist to left, JNR to right
Raiders -7.5 Seahawks
Broncos +2.5 Steelers

SUICIDE POOL
G-MEN over Texans

 

Want to Win Next Year?

Well if your MLB team wants to win next year, you need Daisuke Matsuzaka. The MVP of the World Baseball Classic is coming to the US. Not only is he probably a better free agent than Zito and Schmidt, he has a special advantage. His advantage is that it takes hitters at least a year to figure out pitchers from Asia. Think about it, Hideo Nomo's only All-Star season was his rookie year in 1995. Here's a name that might ring a bell- Hideki Irabu, the fat bastard that flamed out with the Yankees after starting off untouchable. Byun-Hyun Kim had two years with an ERA under 3 before, well he sucks now. Get it?

So if the time is now, the pitcher is Dai-Mat. He had everyone fooled in the World Baseball Classic, just like he will in MLB next year. But who knows, he could become the first Asian pitcher to ever last in the majors. Hey why don't the Mets waste their money on this guy rather than Glavine? Would you call it Kaz Matsui syndrome?

How your favorite team may acquire him is a different story and it's very complicated. This might help: http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?id=2645777

Thursday, November 02, 2006

 

Happy Anniversary Bill!

To comemorate the last championship won by the Mets and the 20th anniversary of Bill Buckner's blunder, I dressed up as him for Halloween. I should have bought a Sox hat, but seriously, I would never wear it again. So here was the setup:

-Rod Sox shirt, complete with Buckner #6 on the back
-Eye black (done the old school with a burnt cork)
-Big fake mustache
-Glove
-Baseball suspended between my legs, attached with fishing line
-The Result (ok I should have gotten a better pic to post here but I wasn't thinking about it):


 

Barroid

I was invited to an "offensive tshirt party" next week and set about finding myself one that I really liked. If you go to tshirthell.com, prepare yourself to be offended and to laugh. If only they shipped faster, I would be the proud owner of this shirt:


And now for my latest conspiracy theory: Bonds has entered free agency with the plan of fading out of baseball. It's perfect, he only played about half the time this season and he can use his injuries as an excuse to leave the game. Sammy Sosa did quite a nice fade-out, and I wouldn't be surprised if Barry did the same. At this point, no one wants him to break the record (which he could feasibly do next year). Imagine how awkward it would be? My guess- either he doesn't sign anywhere or he signs and just plays a couple games before his injuries "become too much to bear". You heard it here first...well you should of because I didn't hear that from anyone else.


Wednesday, November 01, 2006

 

Maria Sharapova

Some Sharapova swimsuit pics courtesy of Jose'.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/features/2006_swimsuit/models/06_maria_sharapova_17.html

 

WHY??????

In a move that mirrors our hellish old regime, the following has been reported by ESPN.com:

Glavine and the Mets are "deep in discussions" on a two-year, $25 million contract, according to a report in the New York Daily News.

God, use the money to sign a top free agent, seriously Glavine does not have two better years left than a guy we can get for comparable money? He's old and he's a Brave, so let him go back. If he had won Game 5 he would have been a Met, but he didn't. Sign Zito or sign Schmidt, but just don't sign this old man. Pedro and our mystery ace could anchor a rotation balanced out with our talented young pitchers. Didn't we learn our lesson from having too many old guys this year?? See: Pedro injury, El Duque injury, Trachsel sucking.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?