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Wednesday, October 18, 2006


Inside the Mind of a Met Fan

So far this series has been so frustrating that I haven't written too much about it. To me, the key has been a lack of patience at the plate and an inability to advance runners and manufacture runs. Buckner's error in the 1986 World Series was in Game 6, which makes me feel better. We have a graphic of a black space with lots of question marks in it for our Game 7 starter on Fox, which makes me feel sick.

Willie Randolph on 660 The Fan...I wish I was this confident:

"After we win tonight we're going to have to keep our pitchers on a short leash tomorrow."

"We're going to have to make our travel plans. We're going to Detroit on Friday".

First Inning
Maine throws a strike to Eckstein, then drops the throw back to the mound, then almost beans him on the next pitch- in the FACE. Yikes. Ok, he's out.

My mom called Spezio's chin creature "nauseating", he gets booed like he's Braden Looper. [Extreme closeups of the pitchers should be phased out next year] Spezio continues to pretend he's a good baseball player and gets on.

Pujols up, Met fans wet ourselves. He delivers- of course.

Shea is as scared as I am. A decent amount of fans at this game don't know what it's like to be confident in their team. Encarnacion is beaned pretty hard- I like it but I don't. The once-intimidating Scott Rolen up with bases loaded. Drama ends. 6 Met fans have died of heart attacks in the last 17 minutes.

After hitting the ball on the fly to the outfield wayyy to much this series, Ho-Rey cranks one and then dances...and he keeps jittering around for the next 5 minutes. Wouldn't people rather watch Reyes dance for another week than look at Spezio's chin creature? The Duca and the Carlos's go quietly. 1-0.

Second Inning
Does Ronnie Belliard stick his tongue out this much when he's not playing baseball? Imagine him going out with the guys and doing that while ordering food at a nice restaurant. I could totally see him doing that at a strip club though.

Is Maine settling in or are the Cardinals just sucking? If I wasn't typing I think I would need a stress ball right now. 2 in the books.

David Wright's playoff beard needs to be shaved between innings. He is a suck lately. Green gets a hit but everyone in my house still hates him because he can't get to any balls in the outfield (see: every triple hit in the series).

Valentin, lookin good at 2-0 but grounds into a DP, bringing up 8-9 ahead of Ho-Rey in the next inning. Not good.

COMMERCIAL- That's Napoleon Dynamite right? I'm not 100% sure, is it?

Third Inning
An Eckstein in scoring position, no outs. McCarver, is this a "Bonds-like situation" that we are walking Pujols in? First base open, 1 out- I say no. Scary line out from Edmonds, Eck to third on Mr. Spagetti Arm in right. Maine Event blows one by Encarnacion even though we were all hoping for another HBP for comical reasons.

STL: 5 men LOB through 3. Either this is a good sign or a slippery slope. We'll see.

Endy is safe! Now 1-for-247 on drag bunts this year. We'll take it, speed kills baby. Maine can't help his cause, bunts the ball foul for an out. You hate to see that.

The "Jose, JoseJoseJose" chant has to be one of the best in baseball. If you haven't heard it, it mimics the Ole' soccer chant. Good times. Mets continue to NOT move runners over.


4th Inning
Rolen out, time to hit the fat f*ck Belliard. Ok struck him out. Maybe next time. Ok, how about hitting Belliard and striking out Molina, not striking out Belliard and walking Molina. Whatever, inning over.

Was that a Beltran shift? Where was Eckstein? Delgado smokes one- right at Edmonds, again runner is stuck. Wright wakes up, possibly just in time.

The stationary object Shawn Green is up, BANG 2-0! Was that a Shawn Green shift? Where was Eckstein? Just got a text from my brother "Shawn Green has two hits and an RBI, the world is going to end."

5th Inning
2 quick outs, I barely sat down from my pee break. When I went to the NLDS game, my buddy Timma's brother informed me that the Pujols pronunciation on MLB.com is POO-HOLES. Outstanding. He sure look more like POO-HOLES than Pujols on that. We roll.

Maine K's, he's staying in the game. Reyes is on base. Huge. Hasn't happened much lately. Short sentences. Fat ass makes a nice play, we are done in the 5th.

6th Inning
Maine is in the high 90's in pitch count. It is vital that he makes it through this inning. Mota-Heilman-Wagner trifecta would be huge. Too bad Duarner Sanchez got in a cab accident because The Maine Event is coming out after a walk and fly out. I DO NOT LIKE IT. They have not been hitting the ball hard, a bit too much micro-manging here? Looks like we're going to the specialist Brad Chadford and he goes 3-0 to the inept Rolen. DOUBLE PLAY! I SMELL MOMENTUM! ...Bradford makes his manager look good.

Pedro Serrano and Wright go down quickly. Mr. Spagetti Arm the Staionary Object looks at strike 3. This game has turned uneventful- which I guess is a good thing.

7th Inning
Well, that hit to open the 7th was unsettling. So is the fact that Bradford is still in the game. But BRADEN LOOPER IS WARMING UP! YES!

Bradford submarines a pickoff throw for some reason. Coach's son is pinch hitting, and WTF? WILLIE IS BRINGING IN FELICIANO, WHO DUNCAN HOMERED OFF OF LAST NIGHT. Not good. MOTA IN! WILLIE IS F'ING WITH EVERYONE! Feliciano even started to come out of the bullpen. What is going on? Good or bad? I'm dying here!

WILLIE...BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!! Another DP.

Why are we bunting on the first pitch off of Looper? This guy gives away runs more than Planned Parenthood gives away condoms. I think we got 6 or 7 more wins just by not having him on the team this year.

Tucker just DOGGED it to first, might have been able to get a double...very lucky steal on the pitch out, Molina shat himself there. Another steal- second and third for Dookie. BAM 4-0!

BRADEN LOOPER, THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING!!!!! And he's coming out, unfortunately. And the inning is over.

But not before a Scott Rolen error- the A-Rod of St. Louis. Chew on it.

8th Inning
Poo-Holes turns back into Pujols, nice piece of hitting. And BYYAAHHHHH! Heilman gets everyone else out. Wagner will try to be the anti-Looper in the 9th.

Shawn Green takes one in the ass (no comment). "Man" on first.


9th Inning

This is written from memory because the computer was pulling a Billy Wagner on me, who nearly pulled a Braden Looper. After the announcers said Rolen couldn't catch up with any fastballs about 18 times, Wagner throws him a breaking ball and suddenly the tying run is at the plate. At the end of the contract of every Mets closer there is a line that says "I swear to keep every game interesting, regardless of the score". Wagner survived, but added yet another question mark to Game 7. How I'm making it through this work week, I have no idea.

To any of you Yankee fans who are sympathizing with or perhaps even cheering for the mets, you should not. A true Yankee fan would never cheer for the mets.

Why? Because if the Yankees were in game 7 of the ALCS, I guarantee you all met fans would be cheering against them.

You are not a true diehard Yankee fan if you choose to support the mets tonight.

If you want to call me jealous, ok, I am jealous. But I'm still cheering against the mets tonight.
you suck
Things that are weak:

The "Jose, jose jose jose" chant and the "hip hip jose" signs fans were holding at the game last night that they kept showing on TV. Both have been used to denote Jorge Posada for years now. This is just as bad as Wagner using Enter Sandman. Same city doesnt mean same gimmicks.

I find myself rooting for the Mets. I know they would never do that for the Yanks (obviously, because they are divison rivals and all... wait... no...). Yet I still consider myself a true Yankees fan. I am just better than the Mets fans who werent rooting for another Subway series... YES, thats right..... I am better than all of you. FACT
Wait, the Jose song has been used for Jorge? Is that true? No way, I refuse to believe that.
Fans have DEFINTIELY been doing that chant for a couple of years now. The only difference is that in She it is put to music and done over the sound system.
in SHEA I meant
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