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Tuesday, October 31, 2006



JNR dominates the picks this week with a perfect 5-0.

JNR (9-5-1)
Titans -3.0 Texans (W)
Pats -2.5 Vikes (W)
Browns -1.5 Jets (W)
Falcons +4.5 Bengals (W)
Raiders +9.0 Steelers (W)

Choke Artist (6-8-1, 20-18-2 season)
Falcons +4.5 Bengals (W)
Packers -3.5 Cards (W)
Chiefs -6 Seahawks (W)
Rams +8.5 Chargers (L)
Jets +1.5 Browns (L)

TB (6-9)
Rams +8.5 Chargers (L)
Jets +1.5 Browns (L)
Pats -2.5 Vikings (W)
Packers -3.5 Cards (W)
49ers +16 Da Bears (L)

SUICIDE POOL: BEARS (W, 7-1) that was an easy one...


South Beach Waxing

The NBA season tipped off last night with what should have been a good matchup. NBA games typically see a team that is trailing make a run to make the game somewhat interesting in the second half. Well, the Bulls dominated the Heat from the start in Miami last night and won by 42 (!) points over the defending champs. Heinrich and Duhon lit it up, but they got just 15 combined points from Big Ben, PJ Brown, and Flash Gordon. It will be interesting to see if the Bulls can find enough scoring this season starting Brown and Wallace- they will surely get defense and rebounding, but have little interior offensive presence.

Meanwhile, D-Wade shot some fancy bank shots with the new basketball and scored 25 on 10-15. The rest of the Heat shot just 15-50 or 30%. Shaq had 7 and 5. The champs have the worst record in basketball as of day 1.

It's only the first game, but can the Bulls come out of the East this year?


Mrs. Brees Seems a Bit Looney

Drew Brees hasn't spoken to his mom since he turned her down as his agent. Huh? Imagine how embarrassing that would be, would he ever hear the end of it if mommy was his agent? "Drew, now tell Joey Horn that he should hire me as his agent also or you're not invited to Thanksgiving".

Now Brees' mother has started putting his face in commercials in her political campaign for her candidacy for a Texas appeals court. Brees has gotten to the point where he was considering pressing charges because she wouldn't answer any of his phone calls. She also didn't have the wherewithal to get that giant poop stain removed from her son's face when he was younger.


Monday, October 30, 2006


Stop Watching Porn and Play the Game

The Sporting Chance Clinic assists athletes with addictive illnesses and has been assigned to help players in the English Premier League with their...internet porn obsession. Personally, if I was in the Premiership I would use my spare time for more "live" porn, if you will. According to a spokesman for the clinic, "It becomes a problem when he is doing it 14, 15, 16 times and then when he stops, he is playing a football game and he is thinking `I can't wait to get back to that site'."

Um, yeah. I hope these guys aren't making a run up the sideline when they suddenly think, "damn I can't wait to get home and break out the hand lotion". We wouldn't want lapses in concentration like that, it could diminish the quality of the game.


Sunday, October 29, 2006


Tiki Barber and the Hall of Fame

Attium Kiambu Barber, a.k.a Tiki Barber may actually be able to get into the Hall of Fame if he retires this year at the age of 31. Tiki had just 68 rushing yards this week, but has been incredible in the first 7 games this season. He is second only to Brian Westbrook in yards per carry among starting RB's. He also leads the league in rushing (pending Chester Taylor's game tomorrow) and yards from scrimmage. So here's the history courtesy of the Stat Rat:

He's currently #21 on the all-time rushing leaders list. The only guys ahead of him on the list who have a higher yards per carry average than his 4.6 are Jim Brown, OJ Simpson, Joe Perry and Barry Sanders. If he had another year and a half similar to the last two years, he would move up to about 14th on the all-time list. He is one of only 6 players to have 4- 200 yard games in their career. The others on the list? OJ, Brown, Earl Campbell, Sanders and LaDanian Thomlinson.

Unlike most running backs, he has gotten better with age. His average per carry for the last 4 years is 4.8 yards. He's also been amazingly durable. In 10 years, he's only missed two games. He's led the league in yards from scrimmage for the last two years and is leading again this year. His 2390 total last year is the second best of all time, only 39 yards behind Marshall Faulk's best year. Remember, Faulk was the best player in the league for at least 3 years. If he has a few more good years, he even has a chance to crack the top 20 in all-time career receptions.

That's just a snapshot, I'm sure we can dig up some other impressive stats as well. By the way, the Giants haven't lost since he announced his retirement intentions.

Friday, October 27, 2006



Next week, I have a couple good outside contributions on Tiki Barber, including his case for the Hall of Fame. Should be a good time so come back soon ya heard.


NFL Picks

Is it worth it? Probably not, but here are this week's picks. Hey, Bill Simmons is getting whooped by his wife this season, give us a break!

JNR (4-5-1)
Titans -3.0 Texans
Pats -2.5 Vikes
Browns -1.5 Jets
Falcons +4.5 Bengals
Raiders +9.0 Steelers

Choke Artist (3-6-1, 17-16-2 season)
Falcons +4.5 Bengals
Packers -3.5 Cards
Chiefs -6 Seahawks
Rams +8.5 Chargers
Jets +1.5 Browns

TB (4-6)
Rams +8.5 Chargers
Jets +1.5 Browns
Pats -2.5 Vikings
Packers -3.5 Cards
49ers +16 Da Bears


About Those Free Throws

In case you haven't noticed, the Giants defense now celebrates by shooting imaginary free throws. It's really entertaining to see some of the bigger guys do it and to see the different variations as well. It came from the song "Just Ballin" by Jim Jones. Michael Strahan said that he wanted everyone to know that they "weren't playing football, they were 'Just Ballin'". Hopefully they were invited to Pacman Jones' birthday party.


Thursday, October 26, 2006


Well Someone is an Idiot

That means you Tom Jackson, and some guy named Gary Myers who writes for the Daily News. We all knew Michael Irvin was an idiot but Tiki Barber reminded us of that too. He criticised all these guys for called his discussion on retirement "a distration to the team" among other things. To be honest, I don't really know why he's doing it. Is he putting pressure on himself to win the Super Bowl? Granted, he is one of the more well-spoken athletes around, but would he rather pursue a career in TV than play a game for a living? I love Tiki Barber, but I can't help but think he (and most athletes) don't know what it's like to have a real job. IT SUCKS. And if he would rather go get a job in "finance or philanthropy" as this article suggested, I think he is the one who is the idiot.

Tiki is at the peak of his career right now, leading the NFL in rushing and averaging 5.0 yards per carry. It seems like the more touches he gets, the better chance the Giants have of winning. If he retired today, there is a good chance that he would end up in the Hall of Fame (more coming on this soon). His backup Brandon Jacobs has looked damn good also and is probably ready to step in if necessary next year- although he hasn't shown Tiki-like pass catching ability.

What is with Michael Irvin's suits? They are the most God-awful looking things I've ever seen. How can they let him on TV with those? Does he dress himself or does someone at the network pick that crap out?


When In Romo...

The Tuna has announced that Tony Romo will be his starting QB in this weeks game against the Panthers because Drew Bledsoe has cinderblocks tied around his ankles. This is a huge desperation move for the Cowboys who were supposed to be a contender this year. Last time a young QB started against the Panthers, I believe he had to have his spleen removed (see: Chris Simms).

Romo has been given the job based on his ability to be like Brett Favre- who throws really hard but not necessarily to his own team. In an ESPN poll, every state except for Texas and Oklahoma voted that Bledsoe should continue to start. Romo is in his 4th year out of Eastern Illinois and will be getting his first start ever. Dallas has dropped to 3-3 and 3rd place in the NFC East. Who would have thought the controversy in Dallas isn't revolving around T.O.?

Wednesday, October 25, 2006


Shaq Attacks

"Deputy O'Neal, can you please collect all of the porno in the bedroom"

We all know that Shaq is technically a cop...or something. Well, he was reportedly involved in a child ponography raid on some guy's house in Virginia. Only problem- it was the wrong house. Shaq claims he wasn't there. To get the door of the house open, they had Shaq stand back about 10 feet and shoot a free throw at it.



Big East- Make it 2 Freaks

I was corrected earlier that this is completely untrue and Hasheem Thabeet was considered ELIGIBLE for the upcoming basketball season. Wishful thinking I guess. Below, everything is wrong...enjoy!

Roy Hibbert remains the only freakish man-child in the Big East after UConn freshman and big-time NBA prospect Hasheem Thabeet was declared ineligible for the season (YES!). Big East officials said, "A Tanzanian education just isn't what it used to be, this kid can even throw a spear correctly". Things like this make you wonder how schools can bend the rules so much to get kids in. Thabeet was supposed to be UConn's starting center.


Tuesday, October 24, 2006


Chinese Air Is Dirty Anyway

Bloomberg reported that some "businessman" in China was banned from selling "World Cup air". Li Jie was planning on grinding up grass from the fields in Germany and selling the "fragrance" in bags costing 50 yuan ($6.50) each. Only thing is the bags looked empty, and there was no evidence of whether they were actually made from the grass. Chinese authorities accused him of "profiteering" which sounds like "racketeering", but I'm not really sure what it means.

From Bloomberg: "Li came to prominence as chief executive of the company "Lunar Embassy in China,'' which tried to sell acre plots onthe moon for about $37. The ban on World Cup air had doomed his plan to sell air from the 2008 Olympics."

Not sure how that makes him prominent...or how he was getting the grass to China...or how he owned the moon...

Wouldn't it be awesome if he was just having World Cup players fart into the bags!? That's something I would buy.


Week 7 Picks

Another weak week. Somehow I managed to go 10-3 in my office pool and win this week though...unfortunately I put 2 of my bad picks here (the tie was a win in my office pool because of .5 difference in spread). Next weeek will be better.

JNR (4-5-1)
Broncos 4.5 BROWNS (W)
Jags 9.5 TEXANS (L)
Eagles 5.0 BUCS (L)
BENGALS 3 Panthers (T)
Pats 5.5 BILLS (W)

Choke Artist (3-6-1, 17-16-2)
Broncos 4.5 BROWNS (W)
Chargers 5.5 CHIEFS (L)
Steelers 2.5 FALCONS (W)
BENGALS 3 Panthers (T)
Cards 3 RAIDERS (L)

TB (4-6)
Broncos 4.5 BROWNS (W)
Eagles 5 BUCS (L)
Arizona 3 DON BOSCO PREP (L)
Chargers 5.5 CHIEFS (L)

SUICIDE POOL (L, 6-1) JAGS over TEXANS...I'll be buying back in and continuing to make picks here. 4 out of about 35 entries were left after this week.

Monday, October 23, 2006


50 Cent Joins Nova Nation

As part of their Hoops Mania kickoff to the basketball season, Villanova coach Jay Wright brought out special guest Tony Yayo from G-Unit. After doing one song, Tony Yayo then brought out his own surprise guest, none other that 50 Cent. Not too shabby for one of the whitest white schools in the country.



The Doctor is IN

If you watched the beginning of Game 2 last night you may have noticed the "doctoring" of the ball controversy that occurred with Kenny Rodgers. And you were probably watching it since Sunday Night Football wasn't on and there was basically no other choice (even though you don't care about either team playing). As Tommy LaSorda would say, "you're a baseball fan aren't you?" Or something like that.

From this picture of Kenny Rodgers you can see 2 things- 1) Rodgers has something funky on his palm, and 2) He has very hairy arms, even on the underside of them. I mean, that's some serious coverage.

Now Rodgers said it was dirt, but how could your hand really get that dirty without you knowing? I mean, the thing was downright filthy. Especially if you're a pitcher, did he lick that thing or put it by his mouth when blowing on his hand to warm it up?

Regardless of how weird/gross/shady this situation was, Tony LaRussa didn't seem to care about it after the game, saying that he never likes to take anything away from an opponent. Well Rodgers took the series lead away from the Cards, 1-1 with a good pitching matchup in Game 3.


Giants Trade Looking Better

Many people don't realize that the Eli Manning- Phillip Rivers draft day swap also included another huge piece- a pick later in the round which the Chargers would turn into phenom Sean Merriman. Merriman was Defensive Rookie of the Year last year with 54 tackles and 10 sacks. He was on another torrid pace this year, with 5.5 sacks in 6 games. The trade kept looking worse and worse for the G-men...until now.

Merriman was suspended 4 games for our favorite activity- JUICING! Yep, the guy they call "lights out" tested positive for steroids and may not be as good as we thought. I mean, look at Adrian Beltre.

Friday, October 20, 2006



Is it even worth doing these picks since last week was so bad? Probably not but we're doing it again anyway.

JNR (2-3)
Broncos 4.5 BROWNS
Jags 9.5 TEXANS
Eagles 5.0 BUCS
BENGALS 3 Panthers
Pats 5.5 BILLS

Choke Artist (1-4, 15-14-1)
Broncos 4.5 BROWNS
Chargers 5.5 CHIEFS
Steelers 2.5 FALCONS
BENGALS 3 Panthers

TB (2-3)
Broncos 4.5 BROWNS
Eagles 5 BUCS

Chargers 5.5 CHIEFS

SUICIDE POOL (6-0): Jags over TEXANS
Teams used: Cards, Bengals, Ravens, Eagles, Colts, Cowboys

We are trying to use the spreads from this website a/o Thursday.



Not much to say. I guess this series was exciting, and last night was a great game. I think that Heilman needs to be made a starter after that debacle. Next year's rotation could be Maine, Heilman, Perez, Bannister, Pelfrey and Pedro of course if he's healthy. And I'm ok with that. Add Schmidt/Zito/Willis and the team would be right back next year. A full preview after the pain wears off a bit.

Later today: Just expect the weekly football picks, the game contributed to me getting 3 hours of sleep last night.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


Inside the Mind of a Met Fan

So far this series has been so frustrating that I haven't written too much about it. To me, the key has been a lack of patience at the plate and an inability to advance runners and manufacture runs. Buckner's error in the 1986 World Series was in Game 6, which makes me feel better. We have a graphic of a black space with lots of question marks in it for our Game 7 starter on Fox, which makes me feel sick.

Willie Randolph on 660 The Fan...I wish I was this confident:

"After we win tonight we're going to have to keep our pitchers on a short leash tomorrow."

"We're going to have to make our travel plans. We're going to Detroit on Friday".

First Inning
Maine throws a strike to Eckstein, then drops the throw back to the mound, then almost beans him on the next pitch- in the FACE. Yikes. Ok, he's out.

My mom called Spezio's chin creature "nauseating", he gets booed like he's Braden Looper. [Extreme closeups of the pitchers should be phased out next year] Spezio continues to pretend he's a good baseball player and gets on.

Pujols up, Met fans wet ourselves. He delivers- of course.

Shea is as scared as I am. A decent amount of fans at this game don't know what it's like to be confident in their team. Encarnacion is beaned pretty hard- I like it but I don't. The once-intimidating Scott Rolen up with bases loaded. Drama ends. 6 Met fans have died of heart attacks in the last 17 minutes.

After hitting the ball on the fly to the outfield wayyy to much this series, Ho-Rey cranks one and then dances...and he keeps jittering around for the next 5 minutes. Wouldn't people rather watch Reyes dance for another week than look at Spezio's chin creature? The Duca and the Carlos's go quietly. 1-0.

Second Inning
Does Ronnie Belliard stick his tongue out this much when he's not playing baseball? Imagine him going out with the guys and doing that while ordering food at a nice restaurant. I could totally see him doing that at a strip club though.

Is Maine settling in or are the Cardinals just sucking? If I wasn't typing I think I would need a stress ball right now. 2 in the books.

David Wright's playoff beard needs to be shaved between innings. He is a suck lately. Green gets a hit but everyone in my house still hates him because he can't get to any balls in the outfield (see: every triple hit in the series).

Valentin, lookin good at 2-0 but grounds into a DP, bringing up 8-9 ahead of Ho-Rey in the next inning. Not good.

COMMERCIAL- That's Napoleon Dynamite right? I'm not 100% sure, is it?

Third Inning
An Eckstein in scoring position, no outs. McCarver, is this a "Bonds-like situation" that we are walking Pujols in? First base open, 1 out- I say no. Scary line out from Edmonds, Eck to third on Mr. Spagetti Arm in right. Maine Event blows one by Encarnacion even though we were all hoping for another HBP for comical reasons.

STL: 5 men LOB through 3. Either this is a good sign or a slippery slope. We'll see.

Endy is safe! Now 1-for-247 on drag bunts this year. We'll take it, speed kills baby. Maine can't help his cause, bunts the ball foul for an out. You hate to see that.

The "Jose, JoseJoseJose" chant has to be one of the best in baseball. If you haven't heard it, it mimics the Ole' soccer chant. Good times. Mets continue to NOT move runners over.


4th Inning
Rolen out, time to hit the fat f*ck Belliard. Ok struck him out. Maybe next time. Ok, how about hitting Belliard and striking out Molina, not striking out Belliard and walking Molina. Whatever, inning over.

Was that a Beltran shift? Where was Eckstein? Delgado smokes one- right at Edmonds, again runner is stuck. Wright wakes up, possibly just in time.

The stationary object Shawn Green is up, BANG 2-0! Was that a Shawn Green shift? Where was Eckstein? Just got a text from my brother "Shawn Green has two hits and an RBI, the world is going to end."

5th Inning
2 quick outs, I barely sat down from my pee break. When I went to the NLDS game, my buddy Timma's brother informed me that the Pujols pronunciation on MLB.com is POO-HOLES. Outstanding. He sure look more like POO-HOLES than Pujols on that. We roll.

Maine K's, he's staying in the game. Reyes is on base. Huge. Hasn't happened much lately. Short sentences. Fat ass makes a nice play, we are done in the 5th.

6th Inning
Maine is in the high 90's in pitch count. It is vital that he makes it through this inning. Mota-Heilman-Wagner trifecta would be huge. Too bad Duarner Sanchez got in a cab accident because The Maine Event is coming out after a walk and fly out. I DO NOT LIKE IT. They have not been hitting the ball hard, a bit too much micro-manging here? Looks like we're going to the specialist Brad Chadford and he goes 3-0 to the inept Rolen. DOUBLE PLAY! I SMELL MOMENTUM! ...Bradford makes his manager look good.

Pedro Serrano and Wright go down quickly. Mr. Spagetti Arm the Staionary Object looks at strike 3. This game has turned uneventful- which I guess is a good thing.

7th Inning
Well, that hit to open the 7th was unsettling. So is the fact that Bradford is still in the game. But BRADEN LOOPER IS WARMING UP! YES!

Bradford submarines a pickoff throw for some reason. Coach's son is pinch hitting, and WTF? WILLIE IS BRINGING IN FELICIANO, WHO DUNCAN HOMERED OFF OF LAST NIGHT. Not good. MOTA IN! WILLIE IS F'ING WITH EVERYONE! Feliciano even started to come out of the bullpen. What is going on? Good or bad? I'm dying here!

WILLIE...BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!! Another DP.

Why are we bunting on the first pitch off of Looper? This guy gives away runs more than Planned Parenthood gives away condoms. I think we got 6 or 7 more wins just by not having him on the team this year.

Tucker just DOGGED it to first, might have been able to get a double...very lucky steal on the pitch out, Molina shat himself there. Another steal- second and third for Dookie. BAM 4-0!

BRADEN LOOPER, THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING!!!!! And he's coming out, unfortunately. And the inning is over.

But not before a Scott Rolen error- the A-Rod of St. Louis. Chew on it.

8th Inning
Poo-Holes turns back into Pujols, nice piece of hitting. And BYYAAHHHHH! Heilman gets everyone else out. Wagner will try to be the anti-Looper in the 9th.

Shawn Green takes one in the ass (no comment). "Man" on first.


9th Inning

This is written from memory because the computer was pulling a Billy Wagner on me, who nearly pulled a Braden Looper. After the announcers said Rolen couldn't catch up with any fastballs about 18 times, Wagner throws him a breaking ball and suddenly the tying run is at the plate. At the end of the contract of every Mets closer there is a line that says "I swear to keep every game interesting, regardless of the score". Wagner survived, but added yet another question mark to Game 7. How I'm making it through this work week, I have no idea.


Check out this Sack

One of the best football sacks you'll ever see. Courtesy of soon to be contributor TB (master of sack).




Everything today may be delayed until this evening. Very busy work week for me combined with not wanting to write anything really angry during the game last night.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006


Meathead Alert

The Miami-FIU brawl this weekend was one of the worst in recent history, with punches, helmet-swinging, stomping, and wrestling among the various activities on the field. The announcer from the local station that was broadcasting the game offered the following commentary:

“Now, that’s what I’m talking about,” Thomas said as the brawl raged out of control. “You come into our house, you should get your behind kicked. You don’t come into the OB playing that stuff. You’re across the ocean over there. You’re across the city. You can’t come over to our place talking noise like that. You’ll get your butt beat. I was about to go down the elevator to get in that thing...I say, why don’t they just meet outside in the tunnel after the ball game and get it on some more? You don’t come into the OB, baby,” Thomas said. “We’ve had a down couple years but you don’t come in here talking smack. Not in our house.” http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15290690/

I don't really know how fromer Hurricane Lamar Thomas knew what kind of "noise" was being "talked" during this altercation, but it sure had him fired up. I'm sure the other announcer felt a lot like Mike Myers did when Kanye West went off on his "George Bush hates black people" tangent after Hurricane Katrina. You don't come into the OB and get away with it. YOU DON'T!


Sausage Links

Mike Tyson wants to fight girls since he can't beat up any real boxers anymore. http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/boxing/news/story?id=2628718

Here begin the A-Rod trade rumors that I predicted. They will intensify right about when the Mets reach the World Series.

Randy Foye, future ROY.

Seriously, one of the biggest CHOKES in a long time. I bet Brock wishes he accepted my blockbuster Grossman trade last week though

Albert Pujols, excuse machine. By the way, in this picture I wouldn't call that a steroids body. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15295023/


NFL Week 6 Picks

Well this week was nothing short of a disaster for those picking football games on this website. Regression to the average for my picks apparently. Here were the results:

JNR (2-3)
Eagles 3 SAINTS (W)
FALCONS 3 Giants (W)
Bengals 6 BUCS (L)
Bills 1 LIONS (L)
SKINS 10 Titans (L)

TB (2-3)
Bengals 6 BUCS (L)
Seahawks 3 RAMS (L)
FALCONS 3 Giants (W)
Chargers 10 49ERS (W)
COWBOYS 13 Texans (L)

Choke Artist (1-4, 15-14-1)
JETS 2.5 Dolphins (W)
Bengals 6 BUCS (L)
Bills 1 LIONS (L)
STEELERS 7 Chiefs (L)
Bears 10.5 CARDS (L)

SUICIDE POOL (W, 6-0) COWBOYS over Texans

Monday, October 16, 2006


Sausage Links SLASH Weekend Notes

Had a Jim Jackson sighting in South Beach this weekend at Wet Willie's (which has a variety of slushies made with grain alcohol). This brings my yearly NBA sightings to Jackson, Jay Williams, and Dikembe Mutumbo (Mutumbo's daughter is smoking hot).

Can Shawn Green get to ANY balls in right field? The Mets losses this weekend seemed to hinge completely on triples being hit to right field.

Ok, some links for ya:

18 year-old singers take on soccer hooligans: http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=385639&cc=5901

Link to the Miami-FIU brawl this weekend. Pretty low-class but you should watch it if you didn't see it yet. Remmeber some of the past Miami brawls? Do they practice their helmet swinging? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CvKD8Wzm1I

What was "The Duke" doing in the bullpen? Getting ready for the World Series, of course. http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2627838

Steven Jackson would shoot someone. For his team of course. http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2627260

Friday, October 13, 2006



You've never heard of a scorpion kick before, so WATCH THIS. It's pretty much the opposite of the England video that I just posted. Credit to my brother, who will be doing his football picks as TB.



Earlier today I posted the link to this video (which I found on Deadspin.com) of England's keeper Paul Robinson whiffing on a pass back to him, and creating a 2-0 lead for the underdog Croatians in Euro 2008 qualifying. This has, of course, cause a tremendous uproar in England with many blaming Robinson. Some more knowledgeable fans are blaming the pass back by Gary Neville. Nonetheless, this great picture was posted on ESPN Soccernet, which makes it look like Borat is sneering at the English demise. Ali G would be so proud of this Eastern European nation.


Sausage Links

The Cardinals Stadium is now named after a "University" that many consider to be pretty un-legit. We were all secretly hoping that the bid for Pink Taco Satudium would have worked out. http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2623247

Thank God someone besides me realized that Jeff Weaver has sucked for a really long time. http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/baseball/mlb/specials/playoffs/2006/10/12/nlcs.game1.ap/index.html

Being a huge soccer fan, I must share this video which Deadspin.com has up http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ohf4m94Yrwk I mean, that was a nasty bounce! haha.

Nationals deny that no one wants to play for them http://cbs.sportsline.com/mlb/story/9723454


NFL Picks Week 6

My record currently stands at 14-10-1 after going 4-6 over the past 2 weeks. After putting some money down last weekend against my friend Jeff, we decided to compete on a weekly basis. Then my brother wanted in also. So here are the picks.

Eagles 3 SAINTS
FALCONS 3 Giants
Bengals 6 BUCS
Bills 1 LIONS
SKINS 10 Titans

Bengals 6 BUCS
Seahawks 3 R AMS
FALCONS 3 Giants
Chargers 10 49ERS
COWBOYS 13 Texans

Choke Artist
JETS 2.5 Dolphins
Bengals 6 BUCS
Bills 1 LIONS
Bears 10.5 CARDS

Teams used: Colts, Cards, Eagles, Ravens, Bengals

Thursday, October 12, 2006


The Yankees Need Bruce Bowen

Well I know there are a lot of Yankee fans who don't enjoy my incessant bashing of their favorite team, so let's examine the Yankees from a strictly strategical perspective today. After all, the next couple weeks are going to be filled with many Mets ramblings.

My theory about the Yankees is that they are exactly like Team USA Basketball. Too many superstars, not enough balance. Too many personalities, not enough team. USA Basketball almost got it right this year, bringing in players such as Shane Battier and Bruce Bowen, but then they cut Bowen and couldn't bring themselves to play Battier over guys like LeBron- and who could blame them? How could you sit Matsui in favor of Cabrera?

It's kind of a strange thought- the best players may not make the best team. It works in fantasy sports, but not in real life sports. Ron Jaworski drafted Keyshawn, T.O., and Randy Moss (I believe) as his fantasy wide receivers. Before the season started, it looked like a good core of receivers, but the other ESPN guys joked that his locker room would be a mess. The same concept applies in any sport, too many egos and too many personalities means there can be too many superstars. Last year's Team USA included Allen Iverson and Stephon Marbury.

The most difficult thing to imagine for General Managers is that they could get a better skilled player, but they should get a better "fit" player. So it could be argued that the spending done by the Yankees has been exactly what has contributed to their recent demise. Looking back at their championship teams, the 1998 team won 114 games, lost only two playoff games, and had very few superstars on it. I mean, regular starters on that team included Chad Curtis, Scott Brosius, Chuck Knoblauch, and Darryl Strawberry (way past his prime). Their pitchers had a 3.82 season ERA though, and looking at the lineup, Bernie, Tino and Jeter were probably the biggest names.

This year's Yankee postseason lineup consisted of Matsui, Giambi, Sheffield, and Abreu; who are all zillion dollar players that give you the same exact thing- a big power threat and no defense. It was as if there weren't enough places to hide these guys in the field. And as my buddy Jeff pointed out, Jeter and Posada were the only ones who had great numbers in the ALDS this year.

What actually happens with this All-Star team remains to be seen. My suggestion would be to keep Cano, Jeter, Posada, Cabrera, and Wang. Everyone else on the roster should have a price, and they may want to start finding out what those prices are.


Espen the Baby

Remember that commercial when the cheerleader calls ESPN The Magazine "Espen The Magazine"? Well apparently these people didn't. A baby in Biloxi, Mississippi became the fourth person to actually have Espn as their first name. This situation was particularly weird though, because the baby's middle name is Montana, yes, after Joe Montana. It probably would have been less weird if they just went ahead and named the baby Joe Montana.



NBA Preseason

NBA Updates- players of my interest in Preseason

-Nets rookie Marcus Williams was 2-10 shooting with 8 assists in his first game
-Nets "rookie" Jay Williams played 17 minutes, had 2 points, 4 TO's
-Nets 2nd year player Antoine Wright had 23 points and started
-Celtics rookie Allan Ray shot 3-10, scoring 9 points, 0-4 on 3pt FG
-Celtics rookie Rajon Rondo had a team-high 29 points on 8-13 shooting
-Summer League MVP Randy Foye scored just 4 points in 18 minutes
-T'Wolves rookie Craig Smith was 4-4, with 6 boards
-Hawks rookie Sheldon Williams had 12 points, 9 reb
-Rudy Gay started for Memphis, but shot just 6-16
-Grizz rookie Kyle Lowry shot just 1-7, but got to the line 14 times and scored 12, also 3 stls & 3 reb
-Ben Wallace had 7 pts, 9 reb in his first game with the Bulls (off the bench)
-Tyrus Thomas did start for Chicago, but had just 6 pts, 3 reb in 16 min


Sausage Links

A-Rod wants Torre to come back as manager. Um, why? http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2622196

The White Sox love Slurpees. 7-11 bought their game times. Now the games will start at 7:11 instead of 7:07. For 4 minutes, I hope Sevs didn't pay too much. http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2621231

Culpepper says, "you're right, I do suck". http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15198472/

Wednesday, October 11, 2006


The Next Zumaya

Joel Zumaya, the 22 year old flame thrower for the Tigers hit 103 mph on the radar gun against the Yankees last week- and it might not have been the most impressive pitch thrown at Comerica Park this year.

The Tigers have one of those radar guns set up outside the stadium, where fans can crap out their shoulder for the next 6 months while trying to hit 70 on the gun. So one afternoon, two brothers (ages 17 and 15) strolled up to the cage. The 17 year old proceeded to uncork a 95 mph pitch, stunning everyone around. Still in disbelief from that display, people were even more shocked when his 15 year old brother stepped up and zipped one in at 97.

The strangest thing about the whole situation is that the kids said they didn't even play baseball, they just used to whip the ball at each other in the backyard. The other thing is no one even knows who they are. My suggestion would be that someone find out.

Here is the original article from the Star Ledger:


Wednesday's Sausage Links

Punter and steroid aficionado Todd Saurbraun was juicing...again...and still no one gets it http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2619596

Matsuzaka isn't a car from Japan, but a pitcher who is likely to have a major impact in MLB next year http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/baseball/mlb/10/10/daisuke.matsuzaka.ap/index.html

With a combined age of 93, this college tennis doubles team is like Julio Franco...except fatter http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/tennis/10/10/bc.ten.40.lovetennis.ap/index.html

This rule should make me hate Antoine Walker a lot less http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2620756

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


Play of the Weekend

Apparently, in the 1950's there was a football play called a "jump pass". I'm not sure if Urban Meyer was even alive back then, but this play call with his Frosh QB Tim Tebow ranks right up there with the best plays in college football this year.


This play, however, doesn't come close to last year's top play. Tyrone Prothro from Alabama made this incredible grab behind a defender's head for a TD.



New York Conspiracy Theory

Sports fans watched in awe Saturday while the Yankees lost three consecutive playoff games, and the Mets swept their way through the first round later in the night. This, many feel, was the best baseball day for a Met fan in a long time. For once they weren't playing second fiddle...or were they?

I made sure to watch the highlights on SportsCenter that night, but there only seemed to be one thing that was being reported- the firing of Yankee Manager Joe Torre, a story which broke immediately following the Met victory on Saturday night.
Now we find out that Torre may not actually be out as the Yankee manager after all (as the Daily News originally reported on Saturday night). So was this entire rumor a big smoke screen?

Could it be that this story was intentionally fabricated with the intention of diverting the spotlight away from the Mets? This is the first time in nearly 20 years that the Mets have been playing baseball while the Yanks are sitting at home- likely learning new quiche recipes. Not only that, but the Mets are doing it with a young, exciting team which cost nearly half the money to build.

Be on the look-out for some big time A-Rod trade rumors or tabloid pictures of Giambi doing porn if the Mets take the NLCS.


Sausage Links

Since I've been posting links in the mornings, I decided to name this section "Sausage Links"...you know, because it's near breakfast and stuff.

Ron Artest, Hip-Hop superstar: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=alipour/061005

Ricky Williams smokes people...sort of: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15201357/

He's nearly an 8-footer, and China continues to grow really large people: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15199095/


NFL Picks

Wow, my picks were terrible this week, 2-3 again. On a positive note for me, I won 2/3 bets with my buddy Jeff (49ers, Cards).

JAGUARS 7 Jets (L)
VIKINGS 6.5 Lions (W)
BEARS 11 Bills (L)
COLTS 18 Titans (L)
49ers 3.5 Raiders (W)

Suicide Pool: Colts over Titans...barely 5-0

Season 14-10-1

Friday, October 06, 2006


Happy Friday

I'm sorry, after the game went late last night, I'm way too hungover/tired to post anything decent. I have done a lot lately though, so catch up on anything you missed.

This should be entertaining enough, Steven Jackson was shooting at people outside a strip club. Marquis Daniels and Jamaal Tinsley- also packing glocks: http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2615124

The 76ers lost to FC Barcelona, who apparently is a basketball team. Either that or they lost to a soccer team at basketball- Allen Iverson was 3-of-12 from the field and 7-of-13 from the line. I always thought that FC stood for football club...am I retarded? By the way, Iverson hangs out with Thierry Henry now. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15149209/

Thursday, October 05, 2006


NFL Picks- Week 5

Last week was lackluster, but as a reader pointed out, if Jacksonville had gotten off their knees and not blown the Skins game, I would have been 3-2. This week looks particularly difficult to me, but here goes:

VIKINGS 6.5 Lions
BEARS 11 Bills
COLTS 18 Titans
49ers 3.5 Raiders

Suicide Pool: PANTHERS over Browns
(The pick I did in my actual suicide pool was the Colts- couldn't get my partner to agree on Panthers)


Mets Game 1

I couldn't help it, I had to write something about Game 1. After trying to watch the first couple innings at work, I met up with my buddy Jay at Turtle Bay in NYC. Dollar beers baby! Jay is Boston fan, which is cool because I get along with Red Sox fans based on a mutual hatred for the Blue Jays and Devil Rays.

- I got to the bar in the 4th, right when we started bashing some homers. Nice. Ordered the first round, double fisting the dollar beers. All is well, 2-1.

- Back to the double tag out, how could Jeff Kent seriously be that slow? The ball hit the frickin wall and he got thrown out from second. It was basically his fault that both outs were made b/c Drew took the same sign that Kent did.

- Weird that we had the Carlos Delgado is Pedro Serrano from Major League conversation last night- Simmons wrote the same thing today. Jay thought that Ortiz was more Serrano-esque, but Delgado's facial hair takes it.

- I feel like everyone who used to play for the Braves has an ability to burn us because of their history of whipping our ass- see Rafael Furcal, Wilson Betemit...you scare me forever. See also: Tom Glavine, please don't screw us tonight.

-I realized that this was our first meaningful game since June or so. Jay mentioned that the Twins were red hot and now down 2-0. TRUE.

- I killed Willie for leaving Mota in to bat. Heilman is the guy to go 2 innings. Then Mota got smoked. Then my brother suggested via text that Julio Franco should be the manager. Then I remembered what it's like to be a Met fan again.

-Around the 7th or so, I called Shawn Green a p*ssy for the 22nd time. The definition of not showing up- in the field or at the dish. 4th round of double fisting dollar beers.

-Game is over after a scare from HillBilly Wagner. Was it in his contract to scare us just as much as our other closers did? All the Yankee fans that were pregaming are gone before we enjoy the win...hope you had fun in the rain SUCKERS!

-AND I ALMOST FORGOT: I said to Jay, well I'm confident that Grady Little will win this game for us. And then HE DID. The bizarro move of bringing Penny out of the bullpen really scared me since I was in a bar and then without explanation, the All-Star Game starter was in. But since he was coming back from an injury, it probably would have been better to save him for game 3 or 4. Then we rocked him. Sweet.


Check These Out

A couple things to keep you busy:

“It was an accident. Milton Bradley came into the dugout, threw his batting gloves up, hit the coffee and it landed on me,” Loaiza said. “It’s baseball.

This picture pretty much sums up the strange turning points in yesterday's games.

Later I'll discuss how Grady Little overshadowed Willie Randolph as yesterday's worst manager. Check out Bill Simmons' live blog of the game (he's done one for each game 1).

Wednesday, October 04, 2006


BALLOUT! with your...balls out?

I "lifted" this right off of Deadspin.com, the website responsible for some of my readers. I couldn't help it.

If you're going to wear jeans and sneakers, please make sure they are fresh. If I wore a blue tee, would Pacman throw me out? It is nice to see he doesn't discriminate against white and black though.


The New Posts

I have sort of decided to keep throwing thoughts down about the playoffs in the interest of time. Since I have less time to post, I can't do too many in-depth things such as the Tiger-Federer debate as often. So these short commentaries seem to fit for now.

While I'm on the topic, you make the call: Goose Gossage or Boof Bonser

I'm going to keep an entire log of my entire Mets experience Thursday night...which will last approximately 7 hours. Trust me, it will be good, we haven't been in the playoffs in 6 years.


NY Baseball Notes

The Yankees were absolutely dominant last night. No matter what was going on, it didn't feel like the Tigers had a chance in hell. With the Sushi Shef healthy again (a Matsui/Sheffield combo), their lineup is one of the best ever. I would be shocked if this team doesn't get to the World series, especially after watching the AL teams play yesterday.

The Mets haven't even started playing yet and I already am feeling sick about this. We need 6 innings out of our starters so that the Heilman-Mota-Wagner triangle of death can take over. Only problem is 2 of our top 3 starters are no longer on the postseason roster. John Maine is great, but he's the game 1 starter, which makes me want to cry. I'm just glad to be going to the Glavine game tomorrow.


The Perfect Yankee Game

On Sunday, I went to the last Yankee game of season. For the record, I would rather have hemorrhoids than be a Yankee fan. This was my second trip to Yankee Stadium, and my first non-Met game there. I am enough of a baseball fan that when I'm offered a ticket to a Yankee game I'll go for the sake of seeing a game. I will not root out loud for either team, I'll just watch and drink.

We didn't get to the parking lot till the second, and we didn't finish off the beer till the 6th- which seemed like a good time to go inside. This was the best part, my buddies John and Kyle are a Mets fan and a not-so-big sports fan so the game was of little concern. Really I couldn't take the Der-ek Je-ter chants for more than 3 innings anyway. I swear every man woman and child in that stadium would blow him (yes, probably your MVP and it was the last game of the season...is it like that every game?). The Blue Jays prevailed on a homer by a nobody and the Yankees lost, dropping them to a tie with the Mets for baseball's best record. Sweet.

3 innings, a Toronto home run, a Yankee loss, and a delicious hot dog...now that's a good Yankee game.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


Live Blogging the Playoffs

First off, does anyone read this anymore? my readership has been sinking like crazy since I couldn't post every day last week. Well, if for no reason other than to talk to myself here are my thoughts on day 1 of the baseball playoffs.

-First things first, my brother Tom just scared the sh*t out of me with the following text message: "Dynasty satrts tomorrow, El Duque will carry us to the promise land".

-Does anyone else love Frank Thomas for absolutely no reason? He homered off of Santana in the second inning and I was excited...but not sure why.

-What is this old timers day? He and Rondell White are the only guys with home runs and multiple hits.

-Zito and Santana are superhumans right now...talk about turning it on for the playoffs. Both still pitching in the 8th.

-I just spent $120 for a Mets ticket. I am really nervous about them losing Thursday. As a matter of fact, I have very little confidence...El Duque is pitching game 1. When you haven't seen one of your teams win a championship since you were 7, these things start to drive you crazy.

-What shirt do I wear to the game? Wright, Reyes, or Division Champs?

-When your team hasn't won the division in this long, you buy the shirt.

I wanted to end things there but The Big Hurt just went deep again. I was wondering why the Twinkies brought in this guy Jesse Crain to pitch to the meat of the A's order. This is the playoffs baby, don't be f'in around in a 5 game series. Oh look, that run is really going to cost them. 3-2 final, way to go idiots.


NFL Picks

2-3 this week. My first losing record, but I guess not too bad. Is Buffalo for real?

BUFFALO 1 Minnesota (L)
KANSAS CITY 7 San Francisco (L)
Jacksonville 2.5 Washington (L)
Cleveland 2.5 Oakland (W)
ST. LOUIS 5.5 Detroit (W)

SUICIDE POOL: Eagles over Packers (W, 4-0)

Overall Record: 12-7-1

Monday, October 02, 2006


Baseball: 8 Remain

Taking a look at the final standings, you may be interested in the following results:

-The Mets and Yanks finished with identical 97-65 records, the best in baseball.

-The Twins finished just a game behind those two.

-The following teams would have made the playoffs in the NL based on record: Blue Jays, Red Sox, White Sox, Angels.

-The Royals 3 wins to end the season didn't just knock the Tigers from the top of the division, it helped them avoid baseball's worst record. The DRays were 61-101, the Royals 62-100.

-The DRays actually had a winning record at home this year, but were a disgusting 20-61 on the road.

-Only 6 teams in baseball had a losing record at home, and the NL only had 3 teams with winning records on the road (AL had 7). And the AL has home field advantage in the playoffs. Now that's an advantage all right.

-The White Sox didn't make the playoffs, but would have won 2 divisions in the NL.

-The Yankees scored 65 more runs than anyone else. Phillies were 2nd.

-Detroit allowed the fewest runs, with Minnesota and San Diego being the only other teams to allow under 700 runs.

-The A's finished 24 games over .500 and only outscored their opponents by 44 runs.

-The Cardinals only outscored their opponents by 19.



Since I have started a new job this week, I can't really spend an hour or two posting every morning. So unless I end up finding someone to help me, I'll most likely just be posting on Tuesdays and Thursdays for the time being. There will be new material on tomorrow morning. For now, entertain yourself with these:

I've always wanted to rip off someone's helmet and stomp their head with my cleats:

We love steroids Gossip:

Christian Laettner and some ex-college player somehow have enough dough to buy the Grizzlies:

For tomorrow morning, we'll look at how the MLB teams finished and add a few other things as well.

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