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Monday, August 14, 2006

 

Monday Night Hair

Last night I was watching Sportscenter when they cut to a special discussion from the new Monday Night Football crew. Kornheiser, Tirico, and Theisman sat in a booth overlooking an empty football field and I really don't even know what they were discussing. I wasn't paying a bit of attention, as my Dad and I were having a discussion about HDTV. We decided that any shots in the booth on Monday nights should be taken out of HD in order to keep us from staring at Tirico and Kornheiser's domes. Theisman's perfectly gelled hair certainly does not belong in this booth unless it will be revealed on live TV (preferably at halftime of the Manning Bowl) that he's wearing a rug.

Tirico has done the respectable thing- taking his hair loss like a man, no comb-over. His barber probably used a 1-clip on the buzzer. The only problem is there is this bizarre spot of
hair towards the front of his head, which is separated from his hair in the back. It kind of looks like a patch of crab grass. This is a recent development in Tirico's hair, as file photos suggest the migration of the front piece of hair towards his forehead has happened over the last couple of years and is further accented by his shorter haircut.

Kornheiser, who is at a safe distance on PTI, got a few too many close-ups in this little segment and appeared to be slightly uncomfortable looking at the camera rather than his cuddly buddy Wilbon. Kornheiser has the horseshoe thing going, except that he has one piece that can't be more that 20 or 30 hairs, which is combed over the direct center of his head. This strand must measure about 8 inches or so in length. Do you think when he showers it dangles down past his chin on the left side? I am convinced that he is much more bald than this picture shows.

Theisman actually didn't get to talk very much, which was fine because it allowed us to discuss the bizarre hair on the other two guys in further detail. I think everyone hopes this team will work for MNF so that we don't have to deal with some awkward Dennis Miller-type moments or anything. We just need to clip the strip and buzz the patch and we're all set.

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