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Monday, August 21, 2006


Conspiracy Theories

Let's be honest, we are impressed that Tiger won his 12th major, and it's nice that Andy Roddick finally got back on track, but we don't all belong to country clubs. All I care about right now is baseball. So here are a few things that crossed my mind this weekend:

1. Tom Glavine hates the Mets. As early as the beginning of this season, he was talking about going back to the f'ing Braves. It his evil Braves blood that is causing this blood clot to happen. I don't know if Yankee fans feel this way about Johnny Damon, but I will never be able to fully accept Glavine as a Met. I respect him, but I'll never have the same feelings for him as a have for Wright, Reyes, even Beltran and Floyd (I mean that in the straightest way possible).

2. Pedro Martinez is from the Terrell Owens school of thought. I can't help but think that Pedro doesn't feel like pitching until the playoffs. Now he has a calf injury? How does that even happen? I think T.O. thinks he's too good for preseason, and to be honest, I don't care if Pedro doesn't pitch another regular season game as long as he shows up in October. Vote for Pedro- even though he's a liar.

3. Coco Crisp has some serious problems. He went 0-6 yesterday, dropping his average to .271. Now before I say this, I looked around and couldn't find anything that suggests him having a problem. But, what is wrong with him? When he's batting, he twitches and looks like some sort of rodent with a bad case of terets. It can't be very easy to hit the ball with all that wild twitching going on. And why hasn't anyone put this on YouTube yet?

4. Jason Giambi has a future in porn. Assuming he still has some portion of his balls left, that mustache is sure to land him a great gig.

Yankee fans used to feel about Damon the way you feel about Glavine. Especially myself. But that has evaporated by now and it's not because of his good numbers, hustle, or willingness to play hurt. It is because of his genuine disdain for the Sox. In interviews he is constantly refering to New York as "having the best fans," "the best place to play baseball" all the while calling Boston fans classless for boo-ing him for going to an organization where he is appreciated.

In the begining of the season, when asked about his transition fromt he Red Sox to the Yanks, he replied with "The Yankees wanted me more. I am going to do everything I can to show them, that they were right." He has done just that.
well put mi amigo. damon is the man. anyway, let me know when that giambi video comes out. i am sure he will be banging fat chicks and grannys. it would make for a nice evening in with my mother.
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